how i'm feeling about baby number two.

Apparently when you get pregnant with baby number two the response is always 1. That’s exciting! 2. How are you feeling? And 3. Is it worse this time around? 

My response is always the same. The answer to number one is easy ... Yes we’re very excited and we feel very lucky! Two and three are where I stop to pause to think of an honest answer. 

When you get pregnant the first time it’s exciting, scary, magical and just emotionally overwhelming (for most) in the best possible way! You’re experiencing all of these feelings for the first time and everything seems exciting because you’re growing a human. A real, beautiful, human! Then you have that human and you are totally consumed by them, your love for them, teaching them, feeding them, changing diapers, entertaining them and just generally feeling and thinking for them every minute. 

When you get pregnant the second time you feel a flood of the emotions, all the good ones - of course! But, then it sinks in... you have to continue doing all of those things you’ve been doing for your first amazing human and now do it all again for the second. You have to grow them, nurture them, love them, teach them, feed them, change diapers, entertain them and just generally feel and think for them every minute. It feels more real much faster and the reality that you’re responsible for this tiny life weighs on you from day one. The excitement of having a new human around can quickly sink to the bottom of the weight of all of the other thoughts. All of this, combined with the raising the first human part and the other obligations that life throws your way, make you tired. Not like I need to put my head down tired but just tired, like you wish you could switch your brain off for just one minute and hold this new baby in your arms and just feel it and not think, kind of tired. 

So, how am I feeling and is it worse this time around?! Honestly, I’m tired! I’m happy and excited, but also very aware of how this ends and what a huge thing it is (both to be blessed with and the responsibility of it). It’s not worse the second time it’s just much more emotionally and mentally draining, so I’m tired. But every night when I feel her kick I end my day with that excitement! 

If you’re thinking about having baby number two, I would say ... Take the time you did with the first to enjoy it. Leave number one at home, pamper yourself when you need it and talk to your belly as much as you did the first time! Take the time to feel tired and then get through it. Some weeks are easier than others but I believe a happy mommy is a happy baby and the end of this journey is so worth it. 

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